When Performance is Not About Performance
I work with a great many issues and clients in my day to day practice. One issue which may surprise some people is that I work quite a lot with psychological sexual issues in men. The general issues build down to erectile dysfunction (ED) and or premature ejaculation (PE). These issues can have a physiological cause which medication will be able to assist with. However, increasingly more and more men are presenting because of a psychological blockage to their sexual performance.
Now the title of today’s piece is when is performance not performance, it is when it is to do with sex. We often use the phrase sexual performance. But ask yourself, what is the performance? Who is it for? Surely, being intimate, is about emotion, not simply about bio mechanical actions relating to sexual intercourse.
Much of the difficulties that I see relate far more to the loss of intimacy when it comes to the act itself. The physiology can be something that loses its potency when a person does not care about the person who they are having relations with. In order to improve sexual performance, it is often necessary to ask the question “How can I express my feelings towards my lover”. This is not performance based, it is emotional based.