The basis of reframing is to separate intention from behaviour.
Two Major Types of Reframes:
CONTEXT REFRAME: “I’m too ….” -or- “He’s too …. ”
Think of a different context in which the person will respond differently to the same behaviour.
MEANING REFRAME: “Whenever X happens, I respond Y.”
Ask yourself, “What else could this behaviour mean?” or internally think of an opposite frame or a different meaning. “What is it that this person hasnât noticed (in this context that will bring about a different meaning, and change his response?”
Reframe I failed the exam because I am not good enough, and I never will be to I failed the exam because I believed I would, so didn’t work hard enough. Next time I will do the work and I will pass.
Reframe He said I was fat so I must lose a stone within two weeks to He said I was fat and I felt hurt. I don’t know whether he was meaning to be insulting or helpful, but what matters is how I think. I will ask other’s their opinion, and decide for myself whether I need to lose weight and tell him his comment hurt me.
Reframe No man can be trusted to I have met some men who cannot be trusted, but I have also heard of some who can. I will be careful, but not presume.