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Parental Imperfection

Parental Imprefection

It may sound like a therapeutic cliche but very often when I am talking to my clients, the issue of their parents come up and often time it is in a negative vein. As these matters are discussed, it is not so much what has been done is the issue, but rather that the parent did not own up to the mistake which causes the distress.

Speaking as a non parent, I have never really understood how some parents have the need to be right. This is not only at the time, but as time goes on. It is perfectly reasonable that we are all imperfect beings who make mistakes. These mistakes are often made with absolutely the best intention. However, these intentions do not always work out as hoped.

In any other field of human endeavour when we recognise we are in error we apologise and move on. However, in parenting this step seems to be often missed. The error, rather than the intention is carried on by the child into adulthood and it causes psychological disturbance and frustration. I see this too often to not recognise the pattern, I urge all you parents out there, please acknowledge your imperfections to your children, but temper this with the fact that mistakes are often made even though love is the core of the decision making process.

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