Insidious Self Talk
For many people they were brought up with the notion that it was the right thing to do to always speak nicely of people. Children for generations have been told “if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all”. This message was always related to speaking to other people. Unfortunately, we were not given the same lesson when speaking to ourselves. I have clients who come through the door every day who say the most horrendous, unkind and rude things. They say these things not to others, but to themselves.
Words carry meaning, whether that is a parent to child, a teacher to student, a boss to an employee. However, the most damning words can be said from ourselves to ourselves. I will often say to clients, “if you would not say this to another person out loud, why would you say it to yourself?” The answer is often surprising, many people think more highly of other people than they think of themselves. This can be for a number of different reasons, but it is something that must be challenged. All people should be treated with respect and courtesy, and by all people that means yourself as well. If you do not treat yourself kindly and with compassion who will? Today, make a point of only saying nice and supportive things to yourself and notice how your mood improves.