social icons graphic

Achieving empathy, congruence & unconditional positive regard

Achieving empathy, congruence & unconditional positive regard

To achieve empathy, acceptance, realness and create a safe place for the client, a therapist needs:

*      An ability to be involved whilst also detached, to be outside as well as inside.

*      To have their own feelings/opinions but keep them out of the session.

*      To focus on the client, rather than the coach’s own needs/views etc.

*      Judge behaviour rather than the person (and refer them on if cannot).

*      Show respect at all levels, keeping time, quality of room, giving full attention etc.

*      Be aware of own bias, blocks etc and work with these.

*      Be prepared to look at what is raised in themselves by the client..

what do they tell you about your self.. who do they remind you of.? etc.

*     Be committed to growth and professionalism

*     Be open and receptive.

*      Use intuition but always check it out.

*      Never over-step empathy by invasion.  The client has the choice of how far to let you in.

*      Stay congruent: with self (by owning own views and feelings)

and with the client (by owning response to their behaviour and not


*     Not colluding.

*      Using ‘responsibility language’ ..’I’ statements and acknowledgement of choices.

*      Maintaining own boundaries and empowering the client to have their own.

*      Explore why the client is behaving/feeling as they do.

In these ways the therapist establishes rapport with the client and builds a relationship based on understanding the other person.

The client needs to know that there is nothing that cannot be discussed with the therapist. By creating this environment he/she enables the client to feel safe to share and explore anything.


Recent Posts