Achieving empathy, congruence & unconditional positive regard
To achieve empathy, acceptance, realness and create a safe place for the client, a therapist needs:
*Â Â Â Â Â An ability to be involved whilst also detached, to be outside as well as inside.
*Â Â Â Â Â To have their own feelings/opinions but keep them out of the session.
*Â Â Â Â Â To focus on the client, rather than the coachâs own needs/views etc.
*Â Â Â Â Â Judge behaviour rather than the person (and refer them on if cannot).
*Â Â Â Â Â Show respect at all levels, keeping time, quality of room, giving full attention etc.
*Â Â Â Â Â Be aware of own bias, blocks etc and work with these.
*Â Â Â Â Â Be prepared to look at what is raised in themselves by the client..
what do they tell you about your self.. who do they remind you of.? etc.
*Â Â Â Â Be committed to growth and professionalism
*Â Â Â Â Be open and receptive.
*Â Â Â Â Â Use intuition but always check it out.
*     Never over-step empathy by invasion. The client has the choice of how far to let you in.
*Â Â Â Â Â Stay congruent: with self (by owning own views and feelings)
and with the client (by owning response to their behaviour and not
blaming.)
*Â Â Â Â Not colluding.
*Â Â Â Â Â Using ‘responsibility language’ ..’I’ statements and acknowledgement of choices.
*Â Â Â Â Â Maintaining own boundaries and empowering the client to have their own.
*Â Â Â Â Â Explore why the client is behaving/feeling as they do.
In these ways the therapist establishes rapport with the client and builds a relationship based on understanding the other person.
The client needs to know that there is nothing that cannot be discussed with the therapist. By creating this environment he/she enables the client to feel safe to share and explore anything.
